It feels as if life doesn't have a pause or rewind button. As I keep playing this role in life sometimes I look back and wonder how I got here so fast. The past five years of my life have just evaporated. So much has happened, I know I've changed a lot and I don't regret anything that I've done but sometimes I wish life could slow down a little bit, I wish I could pause life for a while so that I was really able to think about my decisions before I made them. That would be cheating though.
I'm getting ready to graduate. As a college graduate, am I really that much more educated than people who chose not to go? I think there are definitely some valuable lessons to be learned in college but I think there are equally valuable lessons to be learned out in the world. College has been a sort of bubble that I feel safe in, something that keeps the world at bay until you're ready to face it. In college I didn't have to have everything figured out, but am I ready for the world?..."what are you doing after you graduate?" That stupid looming question. I DON'T KNOW YET! SHUTUP!! I feel as if I've finally found an inkling of what I want to do...who I want to be when I grow up. I just have to test the waters a bit first.
Graduation aside, I just want to be happy. I feel as if I'm mentally in the same boat as I was in five years ago when I was about to graduate from High School. I saw all these positive little mantras stamped onto graduation gifts: "The Journey Begins" or "Follow Your Heart" all I get from that is basically "Go with the wind, Pocahontas" Sweet. Not so motivating.
Ideally...RIGHT NOW...I would graduate, snag an awesome job that pays me a comfortable amount that allows me to live on my own, get a dog, and impulsively buy myself something once a week. Too much to ask?
